Weight, Wheat & No Tears
I have been in so many weightloss journey whatsapp groups that I even lost count. So while I struggled with weightloss, others were asking for ways to gain weight because 65 kgs was not what their dream body weight looked liked. ghai! Yaani mimi someone bakes a cake and I add a pound, yet someone is busy eating fattening foods and their body cannot find the fat. We can never be the same and it’s so unfair. I have tried so many things… We shall start with gym which was way back in 2014. The local gym (actually the only gym close by). The owner was my mum’s friend and since I had expressed interest my mum willingly paid. I go in and the first week was all about aerobics and warming up. The next week the instructor tells me that my fat is concentrated on my thighs so we have to do thigh exercises… I quit when it started feeling uncomfortable because.. long story short, the guy was into my thighs and he just wanted to see them or rather see them wobble. After the gym, I decided to do home exercises. Pinterest was not yet a thing so I had no way of knowing the best exercises. Since we lived in a not-so-big house, it was stressing to exercise. You are busy doing sit ups and your dad or mum wants to pass because you are using the sofa as your weight. I eventually quit when I got my first job. Then I got a whiff of this diet through Vera Sidika (she was still new in the industry) . It was 21 days of no wheat, no sugar, no chocolate, no sweets, no soda, no red meat, eating an orange or apple daily and eating white meat daily. Nie rekei ndimwire! wueh! I even had a sticker kando ya my bed and I would look at it in the morning and be like ‘lets nduthis’ and by evening I had already broken 4 rules. My sister still reminds me of the diet that I never followed and we laugh because I lied to myself that I will not eat chocolate yet I had girlfriend dates in Kayole which involved chocolate and wine. Then I stopped dieting because I would sometimes meet people who said that my body was goals and that I should not loose weight. I had been looking for affirmations for too long and I fell hook, line and sinker. These Brayos and Kevos do not trust them! Niggas thirsty for life. So I gained 5 kgs because of them. No regrets though. After all this I got pregnant with my second born and nausea helped keep the weight in check. So after giving birth I was still conscious and I would ensure I took a glass of water before breastfeeding to help kick off the hunger. (This actually worked for me.) If you have not breastfed you cannot understand the hunger that comes afterwards, you could eat a whole cow and ask for ugali saucer. When my second born hit two, I decided to start the journey again. These clean eating peeps on IG are a threat to sanity. They post some ingredients hapo that need you to break the bank mpaka you are wondering if they are here to promote the fenugreek and chia seed farmers. Mpaka vitu kama cous cous (lol). I gave up when I learnt that spinach ya kenya si ya majuu.So I went into Intermittent Fasting. That shit is crazy. It was successful at first because when I put my mind into something I really do it. I lost about 2Kgs and then trouble came. Le hubs would make comments like ‘siku hizi mama yenyu anapika supper na hakuli’. I changed to doing late nights to afternoon fasts. Now my kids would come and tell me ‘umebuy mandazi. asante.Onja kidogo’. It became harder mpaka I finally bid IF goodbye.
I am currently doing a 2KM walk daily and my goal is to keep fit and consequently lose weight. I have been having swollen legs from sitting down for too long and I want to end that. I have recently learned the importance of an accountability partner and I have one, my sister. For those looking to lose weight, my take is that do what works for you. Someone suggested that since I am married extreme hardcore sex would be such a sport and will burn excess calories and I found that crazy because on most days you are too tired to even raise a finger or pucker your lips for a kiss. Crazy people!

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