Nobody Has To Know

Growing up we were taught that respecting your elders assured you of heaven. On that day when you beckoned, I obeyed. I was about 5 and you assured me it was fun. Introduced me to what I later came to know as handjobs. As I left your stern face communicated...

NOBODY HAS TO KNOW!

Every month when mummy is on her menses, you are always spoiling for a row. Making sure you argue so that she takes her bags and leaves. Brother John and I are left to fend for ourselves because you are too drunk to cook or pretend to be. At 2am, in your drunken stupor you do things to me that I cannot even tell my therapist.

It hurt so badly physically the first time but on this 13th time it hurts emotionally. I am used to it. 😒John hears me cry and tries to get you off me but I fear he may suffer brain damage soon from the blows you rain on him. So I have learnt to only let out muffled cries and silently pray that mummy comes back soon. Such a shame if people knew what daddy does to me but then again...

NOBODY HAS TO KNOW!

It started as a side glance, followed by a smile and a light hug. You know those kind of hugs that say "We're family and I got you"? Soon you noticed how feminine I was becoming. If not my hips it was my calves and ankles. Shy me bushed it off because i was super conscious of these changes. Then it happened and it left me confused and angry and you gave me money and said...

NOBODY HAS TO KNOW!

Marriage is where prohibited sex happens but ours is more of marital rape to satisfy your ungodly desires.🤢🤮. You told your mum that I am a stubborn wife but does she really know the truth? I loathe whatever institution we are in and I would dance if you dropped dead today but out there I am smiling because...

NOBODY HAS TO KNOW!

I am bitter! I am angry! I am sad! I keep my mouth shut because nobody has to know but in reality everyone needs to know. My intense emotions are classified as childish. My social life is dead, everyone is a suspect. I feel on guard every single minute. My relationships fail because I am always the 'yes man' who expects the worst.

Sexual offences are, in my opinion, the biggest of evils. The kind of damage they cause even a decade later after they happened is unsurmountable. Easy for you to tell a victim to be strong but strength is just but a word. Easy for you to judge. Easy for you to say "Hiyo tu!" "Ni hizo nguo zake fupi." "Na vile wengi wanatamani bwana kama wake"

"We are not crazy. We are not unstable. We were abused. We are survivors!"

#SexualAssault

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