The day my dad fell sick I felt nothing. Same for when he was admitted to hospital. But the day I trully felt something was the day he moved from HDU to ICU like you would move from you bedroom to your kitchen.
On that day nothing was right. Even the right sign felt all so wrong. The food was tasteless and the couch was itchy. I was uneasy the whole day. To make it worse no one told me.
My mum feared telling me would drive me nuts so she gave this duty to my husband. And he too hesitated. No one told me because they were scared of how I would react. Oo yee who know me too well!
Those three weeks of him casually moving back and forth from ICU to HDU and finally using a ventillator crushed my soul. The day he went into the ventilaltor I went to see him.
I was super strong and had sworn not to cry. weeeee! the moment I saw those tubes and monitors with his vitals and him there sleeping unaware of my presence, I broke down. Like a baby!
I thought of what we had been through together. The fighting and making up. How he encouraged me to study even when I was hospitalised. And paid for my tuition fees when I got pregnannt because he still believed in my future. How I was supposed to buy him his dream car and drive him around. How he still calls me 'mum'. It was too soon for me.
So I asked God not to take him away from me yet and I am glad He kept His promise. My dad is well and good. If you must know, he did not have covid, he had pneumonia. God kept you for me dad.
On this fathers day I want to celebrate my dad. For being the man he is. For teaching me how to be strong and how to be a problem solver. For showing me how to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders without tiring.
Thank you dad for all the lessons you have taught me. For teaching me how to defend myself and not to take any bullshit from anyone no matter their status.
For making me realise all my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses. But most importantly for loving me unconditionally and encouraging me to never give up on life.
I love you dad. Happy Fathers Day Lawrence Benu Ndungu 💕.