I took a trip down memory lane today. Of the person I was before I became who I am. It's been a journey of trials and errors, love, hate and indifference, being and not being, misfortune after luck, success after failure; but mostly a journey of knowing myself.
Before 10 years
I was artist of the day, month and year. I remember going home after school and all I could think about was showing off my art to mom. Turned out being a doctor was what we all wanted. 😂😂
I was also a professional tomboy. Never going shopping for dresses and dolls but for shorts and bano (marbles). I have scars for my prime tomboy years and I am still proud of those scars. Then it happened...
An accident that almost killed me, messed up my brain and altered my personality. But I survived because God made sure I was a testimony. I am still a testimony, oh the things He has doneth for me!
Before 20 years
When puberty hit me hard it felt like I had been passed through a key hole and forced to wear a knights amor and fight a war which my enemy was unknown.
Everything was all over the place: emotions, hormones, boys, crushes, body changes and peer pressure. What was constantly clear was my love for books.
I remember reading medical books in form four and the librarian would threaten to throw me out because the books were not my age. (But I wanted to become a doc, so I had to prep early.)
I do not remember making many friends here but some of the ones I made, are close to my heart to date. Then right before i made it to my next decade,
SHIT. GOT. REAL! Really fast! I had a baby!
Before 30 years
I was a new single mom. Naivity and misjudgements were a daily affair but I had to grow up. Making mistakes here and there. Some of them have been catching up with me.
I went to school admist criticism and being the societal example of failure. My baby was my rock, my motivation and reason to live on. Did I cry? Yes but never gave up. And my graduation theme was "In your face suckers!"
I also found unconditional love and real friendship. Almost became an alcoholic. Almost became an atheist. Almost committed suicide. Told people to fuck off. Quit jobs. Lost a job. Learnt my place in society. But most importantly, I FOUND MYSELF.
As I inch on to turning 30, I am proud of myself and things i have been through. My kids & bae are my greatest anchor 😍. Without my parents, sister and grandma and a special aunt & cousin, I would be in a sorry state. Without you my friends 'Fisilets', Lilly and Ray, I would either be lost or dead. Thank you girls 😭😘. I could never repay this people in my life.
There is so much I haven't put in words to describe my life but here I am stronger than ever. Looking forward to my next decade. I know it's gonna be awesome sauce!
To you who feels lost and uncertain about life, take it a step at a time. I would be lying if I said it gets better but the back and forths make it worthwhile. They forge and build you into nothing but a conqueror.
A toast to Adulting!
Adulting sucks!😒 In the words of Lilly "Only advantage ya being an adult ni kufanya tabia mbaya bila kuulizwa🤣🤣." To more years of becoming better versions of ourselves and finding our hearts greatest desires.